By Susanna Sweeney, MSc, MBACP, CHT
Hypnosis for confidence is a wonderful treatment that can help you change your life- quite literally as you will see in the real life client story in this article.
There are more articles in this series on hypnosis for confidence- find the links at the bottom of this article.
Note also, that there are many success stories for confidence hypnosis- see this one here from Cosmopolitan.
This article is designed to give you a real life insight into how confidence hypnosis can change lives. It's time to meet my client Julia. I saw Julia for two short stints of work, about two years apart. Julia was a woman in her mid thirties.
Julia was struggling with a marital breakup. Her husband had started drinking five years ago and then moved on to taking drugs. While he managed to hold down a full time job throughout this, he had become quite emotionally abusive at home.
Julia had known her partner since they were in their teens. It took her a long time to seek help because she was hoping to have the old Marc back- but this was not to be. Over the five years of emotional abuse her sense of confidence gave way.
Unfortunately, Marc went out of his way to knock Julia's confidence and self esteem wherever he could. Julia was now starting to become concerned for her children's well being as the kids were witnessing a lot of episodes of shouting and fighting between them which eventually prompted her to come for hypnotherapy.
Working with suggestion hypnosis, the goal was to build up Julia's sense of self esteem and confidence. What became apparent very quickly was that suggestions alone were not enough for Julia. How did I know?
Julia reported that the positive suggestions I made brought up mostly negative feelings in her. I may say: "You know on the deepest level of your mind that you can tackle anything." and Julia would report thinking clearly that this was untrue, while also feeling ashamed and unworthy.
Simply put, suggestion hypnosis on its own won't work for you unless you can agree to the suggestions made and embrace them with every fiber of your being. For the suggestions to take hold, regression hypnosis was required to clear out whatever was causing this strong reaction to the positive suggestions I had made.
During regression hypnosis, Julia uncovered the impact of a childhood dominated by the alcoholism of her father. Her father would spend the family income on drink, often leaving them with nothing but white bread to eat for days on end.
These memories were not new as such, but she hadn't remembered them in a long time and had never allowed herself to acknowledge how much this had hurt her as a child. As a child, Julia had concluded that she must be a bad person to attract this sort of treatment.
Julia's mother and father would often fight. Fights often ended in her father breaking a piece of furniture or, on one occasion a window. Her mother, understandably, wanted to talk sense into her husband and get him to take responsibility. But the more she tried, the worse he became.
Under hypnosis, Julia remembered clearly what it had felt like as a child to witness these fights in the house, something she had forgotten about. She remembered believing that the fighting was her fault. That she had done something that made her mother and father fight.
Of course, this is what children will believe because their caregivers can never be at fault- as children are dependent on adults for their very survival.
Feeling she was to blame went hand in hand with feeling she was a bad person- her self esteem was very low. Consequently, growing up, Julia's confidence was at rock bottom. Although she did reasonably well at school, she did not feel she was good at anything. She wound up working at a local shop stacking shelves.
When she met Marc at the age of 18, the relationship and subsequent marriage removed her from a very destructive situation. She clung on to him, seeing him as her savior- and that was why it had taken her so long to wake up to the reality of his drinking and drug taking and to the impact of this on the family.
Regression hypnosis helped Julia to see all of these connections very clearly. For the first time in her life she allowed herself to feel angry about all the bad things that had happened to her. Feeling that old chronic anger is an important part of the healing process. So is forgiving, in order to let that anger go so that it won't have a hold over you any longer.
After some anger hypnosis, Julia was eventually able to forgive her parents- her father for drinking and acting irresponsibly and her mother for feeling helpless. She was also able to forgive Marc for drinking and becoming abusive, and most importantly, she was able to forgive herself for her own limitations.
Meanwhile, Julia's life started to change. After only two sessions with me, she packed Marc's bags and asked him to move out. She said, she did not know where she found the strength and courage to do so. I answered her that she found it within herself.
This little interaction led to some deeper work around self esteem and confidence using metaphors and suggestions which Julia was now able to embrace. She left the third session feeling good about herself, and feeling confident about what she wanted- the breakup from her husband. And confidence was badly needed on her part because, of course, a break up is never easy, especially when there are children involved.
After the third session of hypnosis for confidence, Julia got herself a part time job at a local store. This enabled her to work when the children were at school. She also organized for that income to be supplemented by government subsistence so that- for the first time ever, she had her own income and was financially independent of Marc.
I next saw Julia around two years later. She came back to me because she was now going through the legal process of separation and divorce from her husband which- naturally, brought up a lot of emotional pain once more.
Once again, we worked with regression to uncover yet more forgotten childhood memories- this time of sexual abuse by an uncle. This abuse also had programmed Julia's subconscious to have low self esteem and confidence. Again, the healing process involved working through the emotions arising.
At the end of another short bout of hypnosis for confidence, Julia was feeling positive and confident she was on the right path- for the first time in her life. Despite the turmoil of the breakup she developed, or rather rediscovered, an interest in art.
She rearranged her room so that she had a table to work on. Once the kids went to bed, she would start creating elaborate collages starting with a vision board for her new life. Julia reported becoming so absorbed in this art work that she was able to temporarily leave behind all concerns of her everyday life. This resource would see her through the difficult process of separation and divorce, and she even started to think she might pursue art further in future.
Hypnosis for confidence had helped Julia change her life for the better. She now felt able to tackle whatever other challenges might come her way. Julia now felt that- having overcome the abusive relationship with Marc, and all the childhood trauma she had experienced, she could now achieve anything she wanted to. At the time she finished treatment, she started having business ideas and visualized becoming self employed in a very profitable niche.
Could Julia have done this work and changed her life in the same way within the same time frame if she attended counseling, psychotherapy, or coaching instead of hypnosis? Find out my answer to this question in my article on confidence hypnosis.
This is what hypnosis for confidence did for Julia, and it can work for you, too.
In the comments at the bottom of this page, please let our community know what you would change in your life.
Havening Techniques® are a novel form of treatment that has only been around for a few years. We offer this service along with hypnosis in our online clinic and find the treatment to be highly effective for a variety of conditions including confidence.
I know you can do it and my fingers are crossed for you.
I hope this brief article on hypnosis for confidence has illustrated to you how you could change your life with hypnosis.
There are more articles in this series, please check them out also to give you a complete picture- the links are below.
Here is to your confidence and well being,
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